Christmas Elf's husband is a company VP. She'd like to find a socially acceptable alternative to mailing out 150 Christmas cards to all her husband's co-workers. She asks Abby if it would be a good idea to make up a large platter of home-baked cookies and a platter of cheese, crackers and fruit, for hubby to bring to work.
Abby took a practical approach involving math. Two to three cookies per person meant Christmas Elf would be baking for days. It would be less time-consuming to sign and address the cards. "Perhaps he [husband] should address half of them."
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Oh no you didn't. You did NOT just perpetuate the ridiculously outdated social convention that the wife is the husband's social secretary. You did NOT infer that his addressing half of them would be doing her a favor. Wait a minute. Yes you did.
Let's get this straight. It's HIS job and HIS co-workers. He should handle all of the cards. Or, he could ask his secretary to handle it, considering the cards are going to company employees. She (or he) might not be too happy with this task either, as it's menial and takes away from more important tasks.
And FURTHERMORE. Note that Christmas Elf specifically said Christmas cards and not Holiday cards. Are there still people in this day and age who believe that everyone in the United States is Christian and appreciates a Christmas card? Besides Sarah Palin? I happen to believe it should be illegal for cities to put up nativity scenes using public funds, but I'll have to wait until I can more concretely relate that to another letter.
Back to Christmas Elf and the cards. How many people younger than age 60 really cares about getting a card? Unless of course there's money or a gift certificate inside. Barring that, I'm willing to bet that most people would rather have the cookies. Forget the cheese, crackers and fruit. Have you ever walked into a room and said, "Oh boy, an apple!" No, you have not.
Cut the number down from 3 cookies to 2 cookies per person, and that's 300 cookies. Buy pre-prepared dough and show your husband where the baking sheets are.
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