Christie's Mom wrote that her college freshman daughter is having a problem focussing on her work due to her roommate and suitemates constant drinking and skipping classes. The daughter feels isolated and unhappy, and calls her mother every day for reassurance.
Abby's response is that the problem will work itself out eventually, because irresponsible college students eventually get kicked out of school. However, she would rather the daughter seek a more immediate solution, which is to ask her dorm's resident assistant if she can room with other, more serious students. "She should also ask her professors if they know of any study groups she can join."
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I think both Christie's Mom and Abby are overlooking two things.
1. Christie might be one of those people who is only able to focus on those people who are unlike her, and annoy her. There are plenty of people in that dorm and college who are diligent, non-partying students. Why hasn't Christie noticed these people, and sought their company? It's easy. You find someone in the cafeteria reading a textbook as they eat, and sit down next to them. Get out your own textbook. Instant study group.
2. I'm reluctant to advocate that someone request a new roommate except in extreme situations. This is part of life. When you get a job someday, you can't request a new office partner. The world does not bend for you. You have to bend to the world. Is the roommate's behavior causing Christie to lose sleep and lose focus on her schoolwork? If so, a change might be necessary. However, if Christy just feels that she doesn't share the same values as the roommate .... if she gets to know her better, she might find they have things in common. Like insecurity.
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